i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
