Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I smell stomach acid.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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