this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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