Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
