I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
