I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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