3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
