he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
