Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
