I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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