On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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