i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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