he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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