I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
