they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
