We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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