ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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