it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
