If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
