Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
