Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have tasted many bathrooms
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
