Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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