i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just had sex bonerless
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
