let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We need to rekindle our bromance
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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