well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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