this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
