How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
