So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
