I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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