I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
