playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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