You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
