toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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