Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
