I swear she didn't look like that last week.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
