Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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