no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
