can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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