Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
