I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
