shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize