I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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