one might say we're banned from that church
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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