Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So vagazzling was a success
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
