so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
