Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
it wasn't lemon gatorade
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The chlamydia really affected his face.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
