she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
