READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
