piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
