My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
