jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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