Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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