there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
